I LOVE HER
by somethingaboutthemoon
Summary: "I can't do this anymore Padfoot" I sighed resolutely chucking the red stained cloth into the fire, it spat out sparks as I sighed again, "Lily, I think I'm going to have to give up,"
1. Chapter 1

**I LOVE HER**

Summary: "I can't do this anymore Padfoot" I sighed resolutely chucking the red stained cloth into the fire, it spat out sparks as I sighed again, "Lily, I think I'm going to have to give up,"

Romance  
>James P and Lily E<br>K+

I noticed her slip in five minutes late to the lesson, that wasn't like Lily I thought, but I kept this to myself, nowadays my friends just rolled their eyes to anything Lily related. They didn't understand, falling out of love is like trying to climb a wall when your name isn't Spiderman or trying to walk to Pigfarts when it is evident you need a rocketship.

It just wasn't happening.

I thought back to conversation I'd had with Sirius last night, 

"Mate one day she will end up killing you," he said handing me a cloth to dab up the drying blood on my face, I grimaced as he slowly analysed my injuries. Lily Evans certainly wasn't afraid of inflicting pain, or maybe that was just towards me...

See I'd had this amazing plan, that I should try my hand at wooing the gorgeous Lily flower so as she entered the common room the morning I bent down on one knee, a single white Lily stuck in a vice like grip between my teeth and miniature angels appearing on either side of me singing her name.

She hadn't taken it as well as I thought she would, storming out of the common room followed, of course by the singing cherubs and eventually by me. That is how I ended up with a gash across my face. Lily Evans might have been a girl, a studious, bookworm type but that gave no reason to underestimate the power of her stinging hexes and other spells she has thrown at me over the years.

But you see, this time I'd asked Lily out it finally hit home that maybe the boys were right, she might never ever say yes. And what if she didn't? No I knew in my heart of hearts it was time to move on.

"I can't do this anymore Padfoot" I sighed resolutely

"You need another cloth? Or I can heal it with my wand now, you've got rid of most of the blood,"

"No, not that," I said chucking the red stained cloth into the fire, it spat out sparks as I sighed again, "Lily, I think I'm going to have to give up,"

"Finally, you don't know how long we've waited to hear those words Prongs!" He slapped me on the shoulder grinning, I can imagine he must have been doing some sort of victory dance on the inside, afterall that girl had almost been the undoing of some of our more air brain schemes radiated from Sirius the exhuburant boy standing next to me, but who could blame him? Whilst my head was in the clouds he must have registered heartbreak on my face as he back tracked and slung an arm round me, "don't worry Prongsie, one day, you'll find someone who you loves you as much as you love me,"

I gave him an exasperated look and confusion flitted across his face as if he was going over what he just said, "Actually scratch that, sounds doubtful as no matter how hard any lucky lady tries, they'll never have my charm and wit that you simply adore so much,"

I rolled my eyes but couldn't refrain from holding back a single tear as it spilled onto my check rolling down and landing with a tiny splash on Sirius' shoes. He noticed this and patted my arm, "Chin up Prongsie lad,"

"I don't know what to do Sirius, I tried everything, from buying her presents to singing her songs, this is it, isn't it?" I held my hands up and quickly wiped away and other tears that were threatening to fall, "I've given up," and raising my voice I screamed, "I've given up on Lily Evans," and before I started a rain storm in the common room I ran out the portrait hole, closely followed by my right hand man.

I might have imagined it but I swear I heard a raspy "James" call out to me but whoever it was could wait as Padfoot's heavy footsteps drowned out any further hope of them being heard.

Never did it occur to me that it was Lily Evans.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2- REVAMPED i was tired when i first wrote this and thought i should probably edit it so tell me what you think (the authors notes are still the same)**

**Thanks for reviewing and favouriting and alerting: D this was just an idea that came to me last night and was something I assumed I could write in breaks from revising so yeah... enjoy **

**DISCLAIMER: would I need to revise for exams if I'd written Harry Potter?**

Okay so I'd been sitting down roughly five minutes and already had three giggling girls twirling a strand of hair around their finger approach me. This had been happening for the past week now and to be honest I was getting pretty sick of it, it started with a pretty, blonde haired Ravenclaw catching me on the way to Transfiguration six days ago, she had asked me to go to Hogsmede with her that weekend and after politely declining I had turned my back on her and walked away as quickly as possible. Some part of me had wanted to go with her but I felt it would be cheating, yes I've began project 'Get over Li-Evans' but that did not mean I had to get off with the first girl that asked me, or the second third or fourth for that matter. No I wanted it to be special, but what I wanted was something I only felt around-

"Hey James," someone cut me off from my thoughts,

"Uhh," I responded, smart one Potter the voice in my head quipped,

I turned to face a young girl, with bright blue innocent eyes and black wavy hair falling just past her shoulders.

"I was just wondering if- err," she stuttered seeing the look of annoyance on my face, "?"

"I'm going to pass cheers," and I turned back to my toast.

As I was saying, it had been a week of tears, nervous laughter and a lot of saying no on my part and to be honest, my excuses were becoming pretty thin on the ground; my answers had ranged from long sentences decorated with sorrys hanging off every word to one word answers.

I was annoyed to put it lightly, and it was all Sirius' fault. After my outburst he had rushed round the whole of Hogwarts as fast as wildfire spreading the news I was over Evans... this seemed to be a signal for the commence-bombarding-Potter-with-annoying-love-songs-and-stupid-proposals operation to begin.

Padfoot, Moony and Wormtail were as delighted by my news as I was pissed off, which was a lot if you hadn't already gathered. The only fortunate thing that had come out of this was they had stopped the endless teasing and but they were all completely oblivious to the fact that I was dying inside.

What amazing mates I have.

Come to think of it I hadn't seen Li-

"Damnit" I screamed unintentionally making people sitting next to me leap out of their seats

I hadn't seen EVANS in class lately; I glanced up the table, overlooking the flirtatious glares of a row of Gryffindors I've never seen before, seriously? Who the hell were they? Well thinking it about it, it wasn't that surprising since I'd only had eyes for Evans (BINGO) since my first year. Nope I checked left and right, Evans definitely wasn't here, neither were my so called friends but that was normal, Peter the lazy lump (literally) was probably still asleep, Remus was probably in the library, the freak, I mean the only person who can pull of that sexy nerdy chic is Evans, it has got to be said and Remus certainly doesn't make the cut, and Sirius, well he's Sirius, there was no question were Sirius was, in front of a mirror with his comb and hair products. Remind me why I'm friends with them again?

"Jaaamess," someone whined, "Paddy ate all my chocolate,"

"Did not, it was Peter, the fat lump of lard,"

"Hey," Peter squeaked coming to his defence

"Prick"

"Girl"

"Watch it Moony, you have to spend hours in front of the mirror if you want to look as beautifully sexy as I do, unfortunately," he said tilted his head and pulling at Remus' hair, "I just don't think you could ever pull it off,"

"Shut it Padfoot or I'll shave your head in your sleep,"

Sirius looked affronted.

They came and sat down, Sirius next to me and Peter and Remus opposite us, "so find anyone, who takes your fancy yet Prongs?"

"Floats your boat?" cut in Peter

"Tickles your pickle?" Remus snorted through a mouthful of...whatever that was. I think I'm permanently scarred for life.

"Nope, and I'm not looking, like I told you yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that and the-"

"We get the picture,"

"Err, we do?"

"Shut up Wormtail."

* * *

><p>On the way to charms I passed Marlene McKinnon, maybe she would know where Evans was, it was worth a shot I thought.<p>

"Marlene?" her she span round

"Potter," she spat distastefully

Uhh moody much?

"Happen to know where Evans is?"

"Why'd you care? Cause, correct me if I'm wrong but words going round that you, what's the word?" she tapped her chin thoughtfully, "DON'T"

I shrugged, "Just wanted to check she was alright,"

She eyed me suspiciously, "Alright, just this once Potter," she said grabbing my robes and pulling me into an alcove away from the public eye.

"She went home last week, the day after she gave you that," she pointed to my cheek where there was nothing but a faint scar left, "Her parents had an accident, she needed to be with them,"

She looked suddenly sad, the sharpness from her tone disappearing almost completely until she looked up at me, "Satisfied?" she turned to walk away but I caught her arm, "Is she alright? When will she be back?"

"She'll be just fine, she has the support of all her friends," she said, emphasising the word, "and tomorrow, not that that should concern you,"

She marched off clutching her book bag to her chest,

I'd never done this before so I'm not too sure how it works, just don't laugh okay?

"Marlene!" I called after her

"Yes?" she called back sounding severly pissed off

"Thank you,"

I could feel her eyes on my back as I walked away.

* * *

><p>"Prongs mate! Look, over there, six o'clock?"<p>

I stared at Padfoot.

"As beautiful as I am James, I meant her," He said pointing at the girl sitting at the Hufflepuff table batting her eyelashes at us,

"Urrgh no,"

"Fine then, be that way, not that I care, more for me," he grinned and I rolled my eyes and went back to work.

Minutes later, he prodded my sides, "How about her?" he said again pointing at another pretty enough girl with a faint blush creeping up her cheeks as he spoke,

"No Padfoot," I growled

"Fine," he huffed, but before I even had chance to finish the line I was writing he jabbed me again and said, "How about her?" I followed his finger to the end of the Slytherin table to meet the gaze of, there was no other way to put it other than, she was one to match Peter's love for food and no exercise regime.

I don't know why but I suddenly felt angry, "YOU DON'T GET IT DO YOU?" I screamed and almost every student at Hogwarts dropped their quills simultaneously and looked up at me and Sirius as he nearly fell off his stool in surprise.

I was stood up, towering over him as his grin slid off his face, I wanted to stop but now I was started I couldn't, it felt like someone was holding me upside down and shaking all my feelings from the last six years out of my body,

"I DONT WANT TO GO OUT WITH SOME RANDOM GIRL. NOT NOW. NOT EVER. I LOVE HER. I LOVE LILY. YES THAT'S RIGHT IM IN LOVE WITH LILY EVANS AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I DONT WANT TO FRIKKIN GET OVER HER BECAUSE-"

Tears started rolling down my cheeks, what was happening to me? I'm acting like a hormonal teenager. God dammit.

"I'm sorry Prongs," he said quietly staring intently at my face,

"No its alright, sorry for blowing up," I replied equally quietly, "I'm done, I'll see you in the common room yeah?"

He nodded, and I climbed out of my seat, all eyes still on me and walked towards the door, looking up I noticed two figures, completely different from one another standing stock still and staring at me, One Remus Lupin, one Lily Evans. Blasted McKinnon.

I gave them both a small smile and tried to get past them to leave but they both didn't budge, and as if programmed they both started talking/ screaming at the same time,

"DID YOU EAT MY CHOCOLATE?"

"YOU'RE IN WHAT WITH WHO NOW?"

"YOU FINISHED YOUR WORK BEFORE ME?"

"AS IF YOU MEANT THAT THOUGH? YOU DIDNT MEAN THAT RIGHT?" She turned to Remus "he didn't mean that did he?"

Remus shrugged, "I just want my chocolate"

"James?"

I held up my arms and eventually they both shut up, "Okay firstly Remus I did not eat your chocolate, and no I'm not going to tell you... it was Sirius okay?"

"THANKS POTTER,"

I waved a hand over my shoulder and could feel all eyes on me, "And Li- Evans, err Lily, yes I meant that." I stalled while she looked up at me expectantly, "What? You thought I asked you out every day for six years because I liked feeling the pain of your hexes? Hell no, yours always seems to be twelve times more powerful than any I've ever felt before, and I'm not sure why, whether they hurt because that's what you get when you mix The Marauders, a bucket of fireworks and pranks and Lily Evans or whether each time they hit me they broke a little piece of my heart," I heard the intake of breath behind me, "I don't know Lily, I don't know anymore."

If it was possible for her to look anymore shocked then there you have it, her chin almost touched the floor.

"I don't know either," she whispered only it was so quiet I had to move in three paces so I could hear her, I felt her warm breath on my neck as her eyes found mine and they locked together.

I had forgotten the whole hall was staring at us as we just looked into each other's eyes and that was when I realised I wouldn't have to fall out of love with Lily Evans anytime soon.

**And that's it! Well if I come back and have been asked to change the ending but for now it is staying as it is so I hope you enjoyed, it has been good to write but I get the feeling I went off a few times but ahwell**

**Review? I'm going camping for the next two days and then it's my birthday and final exam so I will probably continue my other stories anytime from next Monday onwards **

**Over and out**

**Theressomethngaboutthemoon x**


End file.
